Pre-Session I

Welcome to the FINAL Pre-Session!!! From here on out it is all new material! YAY!!! And boy do we have some catching up to do!


It's...alive...

It's ALIVE!

IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And by it, I of course mean me!

Welcome back to the ninth, and long-awaited, installment of "Workout Buddy Needed," where your input matters.

The last month and a half, or however long it's been, has been hell. I've fought two bouts of the dreaded sinus infection. I even had to **GASP** TAKE OFF FROM WORK!!! Then after all that shit went away, my stomach decided to get all flip-floppy on me. I believe I've already mentioned my little trip to the emergency room in the beginning of April. Well, my stomach issues did not end after that. I thought I was eating fine at the time, but my stomach got so used to eating crap for years before that it isn't used to eating the good stuff anymore, so my whole digestive system is going crazy.


I'm starting to feel better now...I've even been drinking prune juice from time to time to get my system back on track (and yes, I know how gross that sounds).




Unfortunately, I haven't been able to stick to the intense workouts I've been doing Since late February. I also haven't been drinking enough water.
This has led to the return of some of my bad eating habits: Snacking on foods I know I shouldn't eat. Eating late-night snacks. You know, the usual. Luckily, I have not started gaining the weight back. In fact, my last Curves weigh-in a week ago showed that I still dropped two pounds, and almost two inches on my body. YAY ME!!!

All this crap, as well as all the other emotional issues going on in my life, has made it almost impossible for me to stay motivated. It's almost like I've been just going through the motions.

Writing this blog is my first step back in the right direction.




This brings me to my newest MINI-GOAL: To get myself back on track, I have to connect with myself on a deeper level than just my health...it will take a deep connection on a mental and spiritual level. So I've decided that my mini goal is to add Yoga back into my life in a regular routine. My goal is to shoot for at least three sessions of yoga a week.

Wish me luck, and don't forget to share your mini-goals and success stories with me and the rest of us!

I have had some time during my sick period to gather my resources. See what could inspire me to write again. And in my spare time, I have read "The Biggest Loser: Success Secrets." I had to fill the void of not having the show on air for the season...

DAMN YOU NBC FOR MAKING SUCH AN ADDICTIVE SHOW!!!



I really enjoyed the book, and could relate to the stories inside it...a lot.

In fact, I really enjoyed chapter 7: "Support or Sabotage? The Powerful Influence of Family and friends."

I have had to deal with sabotage my entire life. Yeah, ok, because of free will, all sabotage in weight loss is really you sabotaging yourself by saying yes to eating and no to working out...but just as it is easy to do the healthy thing when you have supporters, it's a hell of a lot easier to do the wrong thing when you have bad motivators.

While she may not agree, or like me saying this, my mom has been one of my biggest saboteurs. Don't get me wrong. She is a great person, and I love her very much! We usually get along very well...but she also happens to be the kind of person who prides herself on being a good cook...a very good cook.




And how was I supposed to stand up and say "I can't eat that cause it's bad for my body" when I was 10 years old? I'm 22, and it's still hard to look my mom in the eye and say that I don't want to eat her food because I'm afraid it'll be my downfall.

Of course, the sabotage goes beyond her spectacular cooking.

Thanks to my wonderful pediatrician, Dr. Shaw (the bastard), I developed emotional issues about my body at a very early age...and my mom got it in her head that I was already obese long before I ever was. I wonder, if Dr. Shaw didn't ridicule me about my baby fat the way he did, if he didn't convince my mom that I was just a little piggy, would I have had more confidence to be more active with all the other kids my age? Would my mom not have dealt with my weight issues in the way she did?

After years of thought and rage, I believe I've drawn the conclusion that Dr. Shaw is the root of all of my weight issues. I think I really hate the man.




Strong words? Strong issues.

Now, my mom is one of those saboteurs that doesn't know that she is being one. It's not like she meant for me to eat my emotions...but every time she asks me if what I'm about to eat is on my diet...every time she stands in the kitchen watching me prepare a meal or grab a snack...every time she compares her healthy habits to mine (although that last one only happened when I was in high school and junior high), I wanted to eat out of spite.




I wanted to show her that she had no control over my life, but it turns out she was a bigger influence than I realized.

I think over the last year, now that I'm at an age where she has to start taking me seriously, we have made some progress in this emotional area of my life.

The key? Constructive discussion. You can't attack the person. I used to get so angry talking to my mom about my weight issues. She couldn't see past what I'm sure she thought of as just teenage anger fueled by hormones to see that I was really hurting and that I needed her to change in order for the hurt to go away. Now I see that I need to look her directly in the eye and calmly tell her why I need things to be different this time around.

She's getting it. But she still gets a little twitchy during the discussions. She thinks I blame her for my weight. I think she blames herself.
But as I said, in the end, I sabotaged myself.

My point? That everyone out there trying to lose weight, whether it's 5 or 500 pounds, is going to have someone trying to ruin their success. Don't let them. Some of them will do it without even knowing it. Some of them will do it on purpose.



I know the first time I lost a good amount of weight in high school, I had people close to me that were saying really hurtful things about me behind my back, like that I was becoming anorexic, and that I wasn't making a pretty skinny girl...of course I had other people that I could trust to tell me the truth about what was being said. I'm thankful for knowing then, but I let my anger set me back, and I wasn't able to develop good eating and fitness habits before college got a hold of me.

Me and this person, or people, are cool now, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forget how betrayed I felt back then.
"The Biggest Loser: Success Secrets" says that people might act this way out of jealousy, or they could have felt threatened by my weight loss...like I wouldn't treat people the same as my skinnier version.



This makes a lot of sense to me.

So, here's the TOPIC OF THE WEEK:
Let's unleash some pain. Feel free to leave out, or substitute, names. But what story of betrayal do you have in relation to reaching your goals, weight-related or not? What do you think about saboteurs who don't know they are? How about the ones that do? How do you deal with them?

Wanna know how I deal? Check out this week's VIDEO MOMENT:

Workout Buddy Needed Blog Video 9





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And feel free to welcome me back!

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OK gang, hit the showers, and I'll see you next session!
Your Workout Buddy,
Roxy!

Pre-Session H

Welcome back to the eighth installment of "Workout Buddy Needed," where your input matters.

Ok class, it's time to break out your vocabulary books! We need to look up some definitions...actually, just one definition...

What is the definition of the word FAT?

What defines FAT in your vocabulary books?

What does FAT mean to you?
(Pause for Dramatic Effect)

Don't worry class. This pop quiz does not count for a grade...for there is no right answer to this question. The meaning is in your own head and heart based on your experience with FAT.

The last week and a half has forced me to re-examine my relationship with FAT over the last 22 years or so.

Don't be a loser, grab a funny pic right now!

I watched the "The Biggest Loser" a couple of days ago, and all of the remaining contestants had cardboard cutouts made of themselves from before they started losing the weight.

What a change!!!
And each contestant had something different to say about their FATter selves. One came to the realization that losing the weight helped him become a better person on the inside. Fitness made him less angry and more open. One came to the realization that she was hiding behind her weight from a sea of emotion and decided she was ready to stop hiding and face her fears. One realized that she had more strength in her than she knew and is ready for the challenge at the finale. The last contestant came to the realization that he is still the same amazing person he always was; just smaller. Now, he can share his fabulous-ness with his family for a longer amount of time, and he can continue to experience their greatness as well.

I keep wondering what my reaction would be to seeing my cardboard cutout a year or so from now...right now, I don't feel I'm far enough away to get a solid reaction. I've felt a lot of different things about myself and my weight since I've been FAT.

So...and I know this can be scary, but let's take a look at the inside of my brain, shall we? Here are the five categories I could come up with for how I, and many others, feel about FAT.




With the exception of the last example, I have been in each of these categories at one time or another.

For some, FAT is FABULOUS. Big is beautiful. Some people are lucky enough to have curves of a goddess and know how to work them. In some countries, the bigger the person, the more power they have. Rent the movie "Phat Girlz." You'll see what I mean.

To get to this category, you have to love yourself...It took me all the way until college to get to this category. Even though I was losing weight in high school, I had so much pressure and negativity coming at me at that time that I couldn't take the time to love myself (no not in the dirty way you perves : ) ).


That's why I gained back the weight in college. But once you love yourself, all of yourself, it becomes easier to take care of you. Then, you are really ready to lose the weight.

For others, FAT is UGLY. Beauty on the inside is not as important as beauty on the outside, and how could anyone ever know that you're beautiful on the inside if your FATTY outsides block them from seeing your true beauty?(I grew up for many years hating these people, but then I just grew into pitying them because I realized they are so wrong! And now they'll probably never know how amazing I and others they've insulted really are.)

When I started gaining more weight as a teen, I was often told how pretty I would be...if only I was skinny. Nothing like comments made with good intentions to make a person feel crappy.

For some, FAT is COMFORTING. This is just as harmful as seeing FAT as ugly. In this mind set, we turn to FAT to hide from the world. We block the unpleasant feelings of life by indulging in the temporary highs of eating (the sugar rush, the euphoria of chocolate, etc.). Of course, all this indulging leads to greater emotional pain, which just leads to more indulging...it's a vicious cycle.

Oh yeah, I am definitely an emotional eater. I know I eat to silence the pain...which just brings more pain. Now, I try to talk things out with myself and anyone involved. Blame cannot come into a dieting situation because people become too defensive when they think you are trying to blame them for your being FAT.

Bottom line: you made every last decision for what you ate and what activity you didn't do. You have to teach yourself to say NO to bad eating habits and YES to good workout habits before you can teach others to let you say NO and YES.




I have had many conversations over the last couple of years with my own mom about what goes through my head when I eat. What emotional things cause me to overeat. What comments I don't need to hear that I keep on hearing. She recently came to the conclusion that it's her fault I'm FAT...But it's ultimately not, and this led to a whole nother conversation.
Now, as two determined females with summer approaching, we have taken up walking outdoors and stretching weekly together. I hope to come up with a strength training program for my mom to start as well. Helping her get fit inspires me to keep going.




For others, FAT is CHALLENGING. You either accept the challenge to lose it, or you challenge yourself to never get it. This can be harmful and good at different times. Challenging yourself to lose weight when you have the weight to lose is obviously in the good column. However, challenging yourself to lose weight when you shouldn't be losing it, or setting your goal for a weight that is too small can lead to unhealthy dieting habits like anorexia, bulimia, smoking to lose weight, and taking harmful diet pills.

I am definitely in this category right now. Staying motivated is the biggest challenge of all. But I have my Women's Health magazines, my Biggest Loser (for one more episode of the season), my fitness friends on myspace to turn to, and I have my readers...that's you guys!

In fact, if you want to get some more inspiration, check out Taisha Juanita Hayes's myspace page for THayes Fitness. It's a whole myspace page dedicated to fitness. I read an article on her in the latest issue of Women's Health. Her story is truly inspiring.

THayes Fitness MySpace Page!

One tip she has that really makes sense to me: "Don't cheat just to cheat." If you're going to have a cheat day, or just a meal, make sure you're cheating with food you actually crave. I do this once a month with Chinese food.




Finally, for some, FAT is LIFE. Now, what I mean here is that FAT is unavoidable due to medical reasons, such as thyroid issues, and family reasons, meaning genetics.

Luckily, I'm not genetically predisposed to being FAT. I just happen to eat a lot of the wrong things...which I'm working on that right now. My mom has had some thyroid issues that she takes medication for, but my thyroid is normal...so sayeth the doctor!

And who can you trust if not your doc?

I know that FAT, whether I am or not, will always be on my mind. I know what damage I have done to my body because I let FAT take over my life for so long. Some of these damages were brought to my attention not too long ago...

Don't worry class, I'm fine, alive and kickin' harder than ever!



I just need to make sure that vitamins, supplements, and healthy living stay a major part of my life.

Some good news!

I have made it to a weight loss milestone!!! I am super excited and want you all to check out my new "award ceremony" in this week's VIDEO MOMENT:

Workout Buddy Needed Blog Video 8





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So, with all this talk about the big "F-Word," I can't help but wonder what role FAT plays in your lives?

So here's the TOPIC OF THE WEEK:

FAT, your thoughts, your opinions.
If FAT was a being, and you saw it walking down the street, what would you do? With so many overweight people in the world, is FAT still another "4-letter word," or is it more acceptable now like the word "pissed" (thank you to the band Chumbawamba)?


How do you feel about FAT in your life?

This could get ugly, but I want you to be honest. You can't get past the psychological issues FAT can cause until you realize and admit what they are.

UPDATE:

So, it looks like I've broken through another plateau for now. My sinuses are almost completely clear, and I'm losing weight again! I think the little added exercise each day has helped a lot. I'm still falling asleep on my own bed...however, sometimes I fall asleep before I really want to.



My mini-goal this week is to be prepared for bed. This means, washing my face before the initial sleep, not when I wake up in the middle of the night, and sleeping with my night guard in...I gotta protect my teeth more! This should increase the quality of my sleep. I'll let you know!

Don't forget to fill me in on your mini-goals for the week!!!

OK gang, hit the showers, and I'll see you next session!
Your Workout Buddy,
Roxy!

Pre-Session G

My enemy, thy name is sugar!

Remember that extra jolt you were feeling this morning after your early morning trip to Starbucks, or Arabica, or Duncan Donuts, or McDonalds, or Caribou Coffee, or wherever you go to grab a "light" mocha and a "fat-free" muffin?

(For those of you eating a real breakfast at home, I give you mad props...depending on what you’re eating...)

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A few hours after breakfast...did you suddenly feel like you were dragging your feet? Did the day seem too heavy for you to carry on with? Did you go from being ready to face the day to being borderline depressed? Did you feel as if you were suddenly climbing up hill, or falling down a never-ending hole?


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Ha ha! You were struck by the blood-sugar gremlins!
And not cute gremlins like Gizmo...I’m talking about the ugly, slimy lookin’ ones (and if you haven’t seen "Gremlins"...well then SHAME ON YOU!!! Go rent it! But read the rest of the blog first).

Welcome back to the seventh (lucky number seven) installment of "Workout Buddy Needed," where your input matters.

So, I’ve been feeling like crap for the last month...maybe more like the last three months. My weight has been fluctuating between the same five pounds. When I get to my Curves weigh-in in the middle of the month, it looks like I’m losing weight (well, I am), but now I’m only losing, like one to three pounds a month.

I want to say that I’ve hit a plateau, but I know it’s more than that. I know, and those of you who have been reading know, that I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster for the last couple of months. Crap has been happening, like always, and when crap happens, I return to my old, bad habit of eating crap that makes me feel good temporarily...
And what makes me feel best in the moment???

SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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My frenemy, if you will...I know, I couldn’t sound more preppy or lame if I tried.

I know that eating sugar does me harm, and knowing is the first step...I just wish that all the steps that need to come next could be that easy.

I was reading an article in the latest "Women’s Health" magazine that was all about sugar addiction. Turns out that sugar can go by over 100 different names on nutrition labels...in fact, the article names 100 of the most common names used.

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Two pieces of bad news:

1.) The only way to break a sugar habit is to go cold turkey. You have to give up the sugar culprits that give you the most up and down feelings in your life. I already gave up soda...actually, for some reason, even though I was drinking about a can or two a day, giving it up was really easy for me. Ice cream and candy are my biggest threats. Luckily, the article offers low sugar ideas. I’ve tried the "Skinny Cow" ice cream...best tasting ice cream I’ve ever purchased in store...which is saying something for being not only a low in sugar product, but also a low in calorie product.

The article warns that people with a sugar addiction will go through signs of withdrawal, just like a drug junkie, but the signs disappear after about five days...however three of those days will feel like hell.

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2.) Sugar substitutes are crap! For example, Splenda, which for many people causes headaches, does not help in weight loss. Sugar substitutes trick your body into thinking it is getting more calories than it actually is, so when your body does not receive those calories, it actually feels hungrier later on than it would have (in the case of diet soda, not only have you put in all that bad carbonation into your body that makes you bloated, but now you want to eat more a couple hours later than if you had just drank regular soda, or juice). So don’t take it!!!


So here’s the TOPIC OF THE WEEK:

Let’s be a little less general this week. I wanna know your fitness and health weakness, but I wanna know just about your weakness in food. What is your guilty pleasure?

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Before my focus turned to sugar, when I was in high school, I used to have an addiction to mayo (eeeewww gross I know). I kicked that habit by substituting mayo for mustard, which is so much better for your body and almost calorie free.

But what is it in your eating and drinking habits that breaks you down? Can you substitute it for something better? Or do you also have to go cold turkey?
Let me know!

UPDATE:
I have been successful in my mini-goal. I have set up my life so that it focuses on my own bedroom, which means that I have fallen asleep on my own bed every night since I set this goal. Already, I feel more energized at work...even though I’ve been sick as a dog.



My new mini-goal for this week...get at least 15 extra minutes of exercise (cardio) in everyday, preferably in the morning...how am I going to do this? With my new gear being stored in my room.
Curious as to what new gear I’m talking about?
Then check out my VIDEO MOMENT of the week:

Workout Buddy Needed Blog 7



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OK gang, hit the showers, and I’ll see you next session!
Your Workout Buddy,
Roxy!

p.s. I usually wouldn’t promote anything specific, but I highly recommend checking out that sugar article in this month’s "Women’s Health," which you might be able to find online!